Why Are They Afraid of Us?

Last week, Melody Barnes, President Obama’s Director of Domestic Policy, (see photo) spoke at a forum at Boston College.  During the meeting, she was asked about her feelings on same-sex marriage.  She suggested that she was okay with gays and lesbians marrying. In her words, "I come to my experience based on what I’ve learned, based on the relationships that I’ve had with friends and their relationships that I respect, the children that they are raising, and that is something that I support. But at the same time, when I walk into the White House, though I work to put all arguments in front of the president, as you say, I also work for the president,"

Sounds positive, right?  Except it’s not.  Aides at the White House immediately tried to deny that Ms. Barnes had expressed any support for same-sex marriage. They then requested that the tape of Ms. Barnes speaking at BC not be released until White House aides had the chance to review it.  Said John Aravosis late last week at Americablog, "It's been 4 days. Why has the video of the event not been released publicly? You'd think it was a scandal, or something, that a White House official might have been support (sic) of the g-a-y-s."

Finally, the White House agreed to make the video public on Friday, after vetting its contents.  Friday is  typically the day when politicians release embarrassing or controversial information since fewer Americans are paying attention.  So instead of feeling positive about the words of a senior advisor in the White House, many LGBT people are instead asking the same question of the administration  we have asked for quite some time now: “Why are you afraid of us?”

I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating: I am a supporter of Barack Obama.  His was the most enthusiastic presidential vote I'd ever cast.  And I can’t possibly imagine not voting for him in 2012.    But an inconvenient question remains: How many heterosexual couples would have eagerly supported a candidate if he publicly stated that they should not be married?  Think about it, because it’s a tough question and one that many LGBT people have had to grapple with.  Most of us decided to rise above this question in order to vote for Barack Obama.  I do wonder how many heterosexual couples would have been able to do the same.

So when you read that LGBT people need to be patient, that we need to lighten up a little and let the President deal with more pressing issues, please remember that many of us had to give up a profoundly important part of ourselves in order to pull the lever next to Obama on Election Day.  We've already given up enough for the Democratic Party.  When will the Democratic Party do the same for us?