1. I will write to my Congressman urging him to oppose any health care reform, especially if it has a public option. How better to split a couple up than to burden them with a massive amount of debt that will cause unbearable stress?
2. I will support increasing the number of troops in Afghanistan. We all know that tours of duty in the military are tremendously difficult for military families.
3. I will call my school board to vehemently oppose any sexuality education in our classrooms. How many teenage couples that marry because of an unexpected pregnancy actually stay together?
4. I will deny the existence of global warming. Once the earth goes, so go the marriages.
5. I will oppose any government attempt to create jobs. A jobless family is an unhappy family.
6. I will oppose stem cell research. There can be no marriage if a spouse dies from lack of scientific research that might cure his/her disease.
7. I will call into talk radio, urging the listeners to support sending undocumented workers back to their native countries, especially if the spouse of that worker is in the United States legally. Easy way to split couples!
8. I will oppose with all my heart any attempt to increase education funding. Research shows that less educated Americans are more likely to live in poverty -- a perfect condition for enormous stress, anxiety, and depression. Welcome divorce!
9. Needless to say, I will oppose prison reform. The more spouses in jail, the greater the divorce rate.
10. I will tune in to FOX news for more ideas like the above....but only occasionally. I'm committed to the cause, but I still have my limits.
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